


Good Company

by nebulvs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 22:20:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16962546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebulvs/pseuds/nebulvs
Summary: Draco struggles with PTSD after the Battle of Hogwarts due to the traumatic events that he had witnessed during his time as a death eater.Although they adored eachother in secret during their time at Hogwarts, now that the war was over and they didn’t have Voldemort hanging above their heads allowed for Draco and Harry to finally obtain an actual relationship with each other.Harry is Draco’s main source of happiness and comfort during this time in his life.It is Draco’s birthday, a bit over a year after the battle. Harry gives him the present of a lifetime in hopes to distract him from his thoughts, and maybe help him find himself again.





	Good Company

June 5th, 1999

Harry sat back, relaxed in his chair as he enjoyed the daily sound and sight of Draco pouring himself a cup of tea while he hummed to the tune of 'Somebody To Love' by Queen. Harry had introduced him to a good handful of muggle bands throughout the first few months of their relationship as a way to connect and communicate with him.

Malfoy wasn't exactly the kind of person who could easily articulate his thoughts or feelings, but Harry was able to get a general idea of how he was based on whatever song he'd been attached to at the time. Music was a kind of magic for Draco that he was immediately capable of understanding and relating himself to. It was more of a personal connection rather than one he'd openly share with anyone. He very rarely allows for Harry to even hear him hum, though he will sometimes let it slip on a good day.

Draco and Harry's relationship began roughly around their 5th year at Hogwarts, though they rarely spent time with each other due to their mutual agreement on keeping whatever it is they were a secret. This way Voldemort had no way of using Draco against Harry or vice versa.

They thought it was best that they ensure they don't have enough pleasant memories with each other for Voldemort to take advantage of. Harry could attach himself to his many fantasies all he wanted, but with none of it actually happening allowed for Voldemort to be incapable of channeling into any useful memory of them together.

Draco also had secretly vowed to himself to hide Harry away from any harm that could possibly come out of him being a death eater. Draco wasn't capable of the evil that Voldemort wanted him to be, but he tried as best as he could to satisfy him. He didn't want Harry to see him like that. He was incredibly ashamed of how weak he was in that he couldn't just man the fuck up and fight back.

Harry understood it, though. He realized the severity of Draco's situation the day he caught him crying in the bathroom in 6th year. Harry felt as though Draco was even stronger than him when he considers all that he's been through. Harry constantly tried to put himself in Draco's shoes, though he would immediately become more and more physically sick with every thought of what Voldemort would potentially want him to do.

Harry could admit that Draco was one of the strongest individuals that he's ever met. Draco, on the other hand, could never seem to see himself remotely close to that no matter how badly he craved to.

Malfoy was genuinely traumatised by the events he witnessed and all the vile things he _almost_ did and _did_ do under Voldemort's control. Sure he was troubled before, due to his Father's manipulative parenting tactics, but his mind had been completely altered since his death eater status became positive. Even now with Voldemort being gone he's still always on edge, nervous, tense, and just overall uneasy.

Harry had begun to think Draco's mental state had gotten worse after Voldemort's demise. Instead of him feeling as if he had been completely ridden of his ties to the Dark Lord, it appeared as though he just constantly feared that he was still here somehow. Taunting him. Waiting for the perfect moment to pounce into the life Draco created for himself and Harry.

Harry immediately knew something was off since the day they moved in together. He wasn't sure Draco had gotten a single night of sleep since the battle of Hogwarts. He would get maybe 2-3 hours, but constantly would wake up due to the horrid visual of his nightmares. Potter knew the feeling. Though, it was different. Harry knew he could never truly understand how Draco was feeling. He could never _really_ be able to know the pain he's been through. That's how he knew. This wasn't just Voldemort messing with Draco's head. This was all Draco. And he couldn't control it.

Harry, after many months of bringing it up, finally convinced Draco to see a psychologist in October of last year. After meeting a few times, he was diagnosed with PTSD. He takes meds to ease his symptoms of depression and anxiety and checks in with his psychologist once a month to make sure the meds are working and that the dosage doesn't need to be altered.

Harry tries his best to help him manage his symptoms and find coping mechanisms that work for him, though it is still extremely hard on the both of them. It is difficult to distinguish Draco's general anxiety that doesn't specifically come from the PTSD (which could come from any day-to-day activity) from his reaction towards triggers. Harry has gotten better at identifying which is which since they started living together, though.

The most prominent symptom he experienced was the nightmares. Each one was never the same. Very small, almost unnoticeable changes would occur from one dream to the next. Though, it always ended with Voldemort's return. He'd find his way to Harry. He'd torture him as he forced Draco to watch with the incapability to do anything at all to save him. This would go on for what seemed like hours on end until there was nothing left but a lifeless body on the ground. Draco couldn't save him. He could never save him.

Then, he'd wake up.

-

Draco poured himself a cup of tea, shaky hands causing some to spill off the side and onto the hand holding the handle of the cup.

"Shit-" he muttered under his breath.

"It's okay," Harry said behind him as he retrieved a towel from the cupboard to clean what had spilled onto the counter and Draco's hand.

Draco jumped at the sound of his voice, not aware that he was behind him. A slight smile appearing across his face when he realises it's just Harry. 

The feeling of Harry drying Draco's hand allowed for him to calm down a bit. His touch helped keep Draco grounded. It let him regain his grip on reality and reminded him that all the good in his life, Harry, is real and not just some fantasy that he's convinced himself that he's living.

Normally Draco would respond to an action like this by saying that he can do it himself, but he was just too tired to talk back.

"Thanks," he managed to get out with a weak, but notable, smile.

Harry squeezed Draco's hand with reassurance.

"You're good. We're good. Okay?"

"Yeah. We're good." Draco responded, squeezing Harry's hand back to let him know he gets it.

"There's no room today for you to get lost in that mess of a head you've got, Draco. Today's special." Harry said with a grin spread widely across his face.

"Really? Why's that?"

" _Draco_ ," Harry said with a slight bit of annoyance hinted in his voice.

" _Harry_ ," Draco responded back teasingly.

Harry rolled his eyes in response.

"It's your birthday, love."

"Oh." He paused for a moment. "What's so special about my birth, _Potter_?" Draco continued while smiling, the same tone in the ' _Potter_ ' that he used to use when they were still acting as rivals back at Hogwarts.

Harry's eyes rolled in response _again_ as his hands traveled to softly grip the sides of Draco's face as he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss upon his lips.

"Very funny, _Malfoy_. This is the first time I get to spend your birthday with you. Sure we spent it together last year, but everything was too fucked up for you to enjoy it. But we're both here now. And we're good." Harry said gripping Draco's hand. "We're good. And we're celebrating this year. We're celebrating you because whether you like it or not, you're good, Draco."

Draco sighed.

"Okay fiiine. We can celebrate."

"Oh, I wasn't asking permission. Today's about you. We can do whatever you'd like. Everything's on me. You don't have to actually do anything."

Draco's eyes widened a bit.

"Sounds lovely. When does this luxurious day start?"

"Right now. Wait. First, before we do anything, I got you a present."

"Oh, Harry, you didn't ha-"

Harry ran away to fetch the gift before Draco could do anything to stop him. He came back holding a much more large box than Draco had expected, and what a very recognisable shaped box it was. It was relatively triangular, though instead of a pointed top, it was flat.

"Happy Birthday, Draco."

"Harry I-"

"Just fucking open it, babe," he cut Draco off.

Draco stopped his attempts at protesting and resorted to plopping down on the floor to open the box. Harry sat down in front of him to catch his reaction.

A red Bryan May signature electric guitar laid in the box before him.

"I know red isn't exactly your colour, but I know you really love Brian May's guitar work so I thought you'd probably like it. We could exchange it for another kind if you want. I wasn't exactly sure if-"

"Shut. The fuck. Up. Potter." Draco spoke. "You did fucking not Ha- how did yo- how much mon- you're fucking insane you know that? You're absolutely mad."

"...Do you like it?"

"Of bloody course I like it, Harry!" He said with the biggest grin. "I don't even understand thi- are we broke now? You need to take this back I can't take this. This is too valuable. I don't deserve something like this Har-"

"IT'S. YOURS. We're not broke. I got a pretty good deal on it down in some muggle shop I used to go in all the time to play the drums whenever I was upset."

Draco stared at the guitar in complete awe. He had never seen something so gorgeous and strong, yet also as though laying a finger on it would cause it to shatter into a million pieces.

"Go on. Give it a go."

Draco looked at Harry with an eager, but also nervous look in his eyes.

"I'm honestly a bit scared to touch it," he said with a light laugh.

"Oh come on. You'll be fine. It won't break."

Draco looked back down at it and just admired it's features for a moment before gripping the neck of the guitar to pull it out of the box. He positioned it to where it was comfortable for him to hold and proceeded to strum the open strings. Their noses scrunched at the noise that belted out from the instrument. Not realising that it needed to be tuned first, the sound omitted was as a result not exactly pleasant.

"Well, while I figure out what to do about that, why did you even think to get me a guitar, anyway? I don't play any instruments. I'm not exactly musical, I suppose."

"I just thought since you like to listen to a lot of music with electric guitar in it, maybe you'd want to give it a try?" Harry responded unconvincingly.

Draco gave him a look of uncertainty.

"Really? Is that all?"

"Yep. That's it."

Draco stared into his eyes for a few seconds longer to get him to crack.

"Okay okay! You need a hobby, Draco! You can't spend all of your time locked away because you're scared. I'm here to help you and you won't even come to me to help you pour a damn cup of tea! You need a distraction from your head. I thought this could be something you could do instead of thinking all the time."

"Damn, alright. I actually wasn't expecting such a deep response, I just thought you'd say it's because you think I'm lazy." Draco responded with a laugh.

Harry laughed with him.

"You could entertain me a bit too." Harry said with a smirk that caused Draco to subconsciously gag.

"Yuck, perv. I'm not contributing to your weird sexual fantasies with the guitar anywhere near us."

Harry giggled uncontrollably at this point.

"I meant, maybe you could play and sing for me sometime. I've never heard your singing voice. I'd like to."

"Oh, I'm DEFINITELY not doing that. I _don't_ sing."

"Sure you don't." Harry replied mockingly.

Draco's hand began to tremble again slightly.

"I. Don't. Sing."

**Author's Note:**

> i haven’t written a story in soooo long so please bear with this! although it was probably shit, i hope you enjoyed chapter one of ‘Good Company’! ~ b


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